Thursday, July 18, 2019

Ephesians 6:4


And, fathers, do not drive your children mad, but nurture them in the discipline and teaching that come from the Lord. (Ephesians 6:4)

Paul addresses fathers in our text for today. He tells us, "do not cross your kid's for no good purpose. Show them something great to live for, so that when you cross their will, it's because you are fitting them for some great purpose of God!"

Fathers must nurture our children. This involves creating a desire within them to want God for themselves. This word "nurture" comes from the Old Testament practice which the Hebrew midwife would use just as the baby was being birthed. As soon as the child came from the mother, the midwife would dip her finger into a jar of date juice, which was very sweet, and then she would stick her finger into the mouth of the newborn. This would create the desire of the child to suck for obvious reasons. The father best creates this desire by knowing each of his kid's bents and orientations on life and training them accordingly.

Children feel anger toward their father when his rules are petty and trivial, when they don't have anything to do with something of real value. Someone once said, "rules without relationship breeds rebellion." Parents must be authentic in our faith for our children to be more positioned to adopt our convictions on life. In addition, "rules with relationship will breed respect." Treating our children as the people they are, created in the image of God is of ultimate purpose. Otherwise, we will not connect in a way that trust will be forged in the relationship.

The child who sees that the rules of the home and their consistent enforcement are connected to some great vision of life and some great cause to live for will not harbor resentment toward their parents. They may complain now and then about the toughness of the training but would die any day with the captain, because the cause he stands for is so great.  

In order for the father's convictions to be adopted by the children, these convictions must be of a life or death matter to the father. I am not saying that we must be perfect, the kids do not expect us to be. What I am saying is we must be authentic with regard to what we believe. God's word must define us, and when He is gray, we must be gray. This is to say when God is explicit, we must be explicit. But when God is implicit, we must be implicit. The authenticity that emanates from this posture will enable the father to connect with his kids better.

To be authentic the father must be given to prayer. Prayer is the the most important thing we do in this world. It is the way that we join our hearts with God in His activity in this world. Our children must see and hear us interact with God naturally. If it is phony, they will know immediately. We must pour our hearts out in secret to God who will fashion our hearts to His will. From this perch, we will be more affective in training our kids in the way they should go.

In addition, we must pray in the presence of our children so that they can hear our longings and read our hearts and learn themselves to pray. And we need to pray with our children so that they have a chance to pray in a loving environment.

Also, we must raise up our children to hope in God for themselves. We must challenge them to make the Bible the most important book in their lives. We must show them the Bible is the most important resource in our lives and that it contains the answers to life's greatest questions and that it is the communication of the mind of God to man.

Labels: