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3 His soul was strongly attracted to Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the young woman and spoke kindly to the young woman. 4 So Shechem spoke to his father Hamor, saying, “Get me this young woman as a wife.” 5 And Jacob heard that he had defiled Dinah his daughter. Now his sons were with his livestock in the field; so Jacob held his peace until they came. 6 Then Hamor the father of Shechem went out to Jacob to speak with him. ~ Genesis 34:3-6
Today, we return to our study of Genesis 34 where we find Jacob and his family settled in the town of Shechem. This town was either named after the son of Hamor or he was named after the town. Either way, this son of Hamor the ruler of the Hivite land was rather spoiled and whatever he wanted he believed he had the right to it whatever it was. Shechem was drawn to Dinah, he then loved her, and then he spoke to her. This was all backwards. The first thing he should have done was to speak with her, then he should have gotten to know her, then he should have learned to love her, and then as he was being drawn to her in his soul, he then should have made a commitment in marriage to her. Since Shechem knew not God and His culture, he pursued her through the desires of his flesh.
In raping Dinah, Shechem displayed the kind of possessiveness that often follows this type of an assault. After an incident like this, there is often a period where the abuser wants to pull the victim in and make them think that they are the greatest. An abusive and controlling person will often do something horrible and then make it seem like everything is alright and that they aren’t a bad person and if the victim disagrees, then they’re blamed for not loving or forgiving the abuser.
In v.3 of today's passage we read, "His soul was strongly attracted to Dinah the daughter of Jacob, and he loved the young woman and spoke kindly to the young woman."
As mentioned before, Shechem was the son of the ruler of the land and he therefore felt that he had the right to do what he wished. After Shechem saw the beautiful young daughter of Jacob, he just had to have her. It was then that he raped her and after that he felt a strong attraction to her. The original translation of this verse gives clear indication that Shechem spoke to the heart of Dinah. This meant that he loved her and wanted her to love him. Of course, Shechem did not know what love was. The sequence here was that he spoke to her heart after he forced himself upon her.
Our emotions for another are to be a result of the commitment made unto them, not as the basis for the relationship. If we get this wrong, when the emotions change, there is no support for the commitment. This was the case with Shechem who knew not for himself the love of God for him. Even though he would not have admitted it, Shechem believed love was solely the passion he felt for this young attractive girl. This is why divorce has been so high in America since the beginning of the eighties. We truly do not know what love really is.
In v.4 of today's passage we read, "So Shechem spoke to his father Hamor, saying, 'Get me this young woman as a wife.'"
The request from Shechem to his father for Dinah was lust not love. When we have sex with someone there is a bond created. During sexual intercourse, in the female brain there are more receptors for oxytocin, and in the male brain there are more receptors for vasopressin. Both hormones cause the person to feel emotionally attached to the other, even with just one act of intercourse. Sexual intercourse creates an invisible bond that works like super-human glue, attaching us permanently to all past lovers — emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Inside marriage, God designed sex as a powerful, unifying bond. Outside of marriage, the bonds of sex can be devastating. Long after the lover has gone, the bond we’ve created stays with us, impacting our lives and our future relationships.
In v.5-6 of today's passage we read, "5 And Jacob heard that he had defiled Dinah his daughter. Now his sons were with his livestock in the field; so Jacob held his peace until they came. 6 Then Hamor the father of Shechem went out to Jacob to speak with him."
When Jacob heard that Shechem violated his daughter Dinah all of his sons were out in the fields tending to their flocks. The fact that the name of God does not appear even once in this chapter is a clue as to why these events happened as they did. When Jacob learned of the rape, he was passive. In the moment Jacob lacked the wisdom of God even though he had been growing in his faith in God rather rapidly. You will remember that the place where God made Himself known to Jacob was at Bethel which means the house of God. It was there that Jacob built an altar to the Lord. It was a place of intimacy and fellowship between God and Jacob.
Bethel was the place where Jacob should have gone to when he entered the Promised Land but he kept his family in Shechem for ten years. Jacob's lack of wisdom in this context was due to the fact that his relationship with God was as stagnant as he was in the land. Satan is always busy trying to lure us away from the only culture that promotes harmony in all of our relationships and that is God's culture. Satan always is out to convince us that the thing we need is the thing that God forbids. He offers promises for our joy that contradict God’s promises for our joy. And then when we follow him, he turns it around on us and accuses us for believing his promises. God doesn't work like that. In fact, even when we have ignored Him and we have resisted being defined by Him, He still stands ready at any given moment to deliver His culture into our souls only if we let Him.
