5 Jesus replied, “Moses gave you this law because you are so heartless. 6 But in the beginning God made a man and a woman. 7 That’s why a man leaves his father and mother and gets married. 8 He becomes like one person with his wife. Then they are no longer two people, but one. 9 And no one should separate a couple that God has joined together.” 10 When Jesus and his disciples were back in the house, they asked him about what he had said. 11 He told them, “A man who divorces his wife and marries someone else is unfaithful to his wife. 12 A woman who divorces her husband and marries again is also unfaithful.” ~ Mark 10:5-12
Today we return to our study of Mark 10 where the Lord Jesus has just been asked a trick question by the religious leaders of Israel. The question was about whether or not God allowed divorce. In response the Lord Jesus pointed the religious leaders back to the Word of God. The answer to all of life's ills are found in the Scriptures. To this the religious leaders responded, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce, and to dismiss her."
We are told in Deuteronomy 24:1 that Moses allowed divorce if there was some ""uncleanness" found in a man's wife. The key to understand this is understanding what the word "uncleanness" meant. Some believed uncleanness meant sexual immorality while others believed it meant something dissatisfying. So, the religious leaders tried to trick the Lord Jesus with this question hoping that His answer would minimize Him in the eyes of the people.
In v.5-9 of today's passage we read, "5 Jesus replied, “Moses gave you this law because you are so heartless. 6 But in the beginning God made a man and a woman. 7 That’s why a man leaves his father and mother and gets married. 8 He becomes like one person with his wife. Then they are no longer two people, but one. 9 And no one should separate a couple that God has joined together."
The real issue with all humans is to be found in our hearts. Do we really want to know the truth? If we do, we will be defined accordingly. If we desire to be defined by God, the Word of God will soften our hearts. For those who really do not want to be defined by God, their hearts will be hardened to the truth.
In v.6, the Lord Jesus took these religious leaders back to the beginning of time because in doing so, He revealed God's view of marriage. God defined marriage between a man and a woman. Then, God declares in Romans 1:26-27, "26 For this reason God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. 27 Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due."
It is not natural for a man to be with a man and a woman to be with a woman. For us to believe marriage should be two people of the same gender is to undermine God's definition of marriage. We will never understand God's view of divorce until we understand God's view of marriage. And, God intended marriage to be intimate and permanently enjoyed in the context of commitment. In fact, God uses the phrase "one flesh" which underscores the vulnerability involved. God's definition of marriage is the commitment between a husband and a wife.
God created man and put him on the earth, and, then He created the woman and brought her to the man, and the man said, "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh. She will be called woman because she was taken out of man." Then God immediately said, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave, or be joined unto his wife." This word "joined" in Hebrew means to be glued permanently together. When we try to separate what God has joined together, we make a bigger mess out of it. God's intention in marriage in the first place was to create a bond that would serve the fabric of the family which provides the infrastructure for a good society.
In v.6-7 of today's passage, the Lord Jesus quoted Genesis 1:27, where we quickly recognize that before the Fall of Man, there was no hardness of heart. And, no man had the right to separate the union between a man and a woman. This was a genius answer from the Lord Jesus. In answering the religious leaders' question the way He did, the Lord Jesus did not speak against the law. As a result, the Pharisees couldn’t trap Him.
It is important to note that the Lord Jesus spoke in favor of marriage, not against divorce. Most focus on the latter in this passage. His emphasis was not on what God permitted due to the hard heart of fallen man. His emphasis was not on what was lawful, His emphasis was on what is wise and of God.
In v.10-12 of today's passage we read, "10 When Jesus and his disciples were back in the house, they asked him about what he had said. 11 He told them, “A man who divorces his wife and marries someone else is unfaithful to his wife. 12 A woman who divorces her husband and marries again is also unfaithful."
In these verses, the Lord Jesus drew attention to unfaithfulness, not divorce. Divorce was allowed but it was just a band aid to the real problem. If we go to the very end of the Old Testament, to Malachi 2:13-16, we learn that "God hates divorce." And, unfaithfulness between two people who made a promise to be faithful to one another undermines God's purpose for marriage. The physical union of a woman and a man is the visible picture of what a marriage ought to be. This is why God reserves physical union only in the context of the marriage commitment. So, the Lord Jesus' view of divorce is that it a sin or a deviation from what God intended for marriage, but His answer did not emphasize that.
The kind of human love and intimacy we all yearn for is best experienced in a lifelong, faithful, monogamous union with one person. The idea of having an affair may seem exciting, but the excitement of unfaithfulness is short lived, and the pain that follows lasts forever. Interestingly, marriage provides a means toward discipleship. As we have noted, the Lord Jesus was on His way to Jerusalem, teaching His disciples about denying themselves, taking up their cross and following Him. Marriage requires enormous quantities of selflessness and self-denial. In fact, if we make it a habit to die to ourselves, we will be positioned to experience the best of marriages.
So, here the Lord Jesus is yet again using the opportunity to teach His followers another aspect of what it looks like to be His disciple. To be the disciples of Christ we must not serve self, but we must serve those with whom we have relationship, particularly our spouse. As fathers and mothers who are learning to be defined by God, we train our children best on what it looks like to have a meaningful and personal, and faithful relationship with Christ through the way we treat one another.
