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12 A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well. 13 Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus. ~ 1 Timothy 3:12-13
Today, we close out the Apostle Paul's teaching on the marks of a deacon. As is the case with all leaders, the deacon’s wife is a part of his ministry because the proof of one's love for the Lord is first and best seen in the home of the deacon. How he treasures his wife is a great indication on how sincere the deacon is.
In every one of Paul's letters, he shows an unmistakable and an unshakable commitment to the truth no matter what the circumstances. The Apostle Paul recognized the Lord Jesus as the complete Lord of his life. As a result, the Apostle Paul was convinced that nothing happened in his life that was not okayed in advance by the Lord Jesus.
In addition, the Apostle Paul saw the Lord Jesus as his own personal Savior who forgave his sins, who picked him up when he was discouraged, who stood by him in times of trouble and intense pressure. He saw the Lord Jesus as his companion, as his dearest friend who never left him. This is the secret of standing today amid the mounting pressures that we face in the world. Christianity was never intended to be a creed to be believed, or certain doctrines that we subscribe to only. Christianity is a person whom we know, whom we interact with and rely upon day-by-day.
In v.12 we read, "A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well."
This teaching is reminiscent of the earlier teaching in this chapter that the Apostle gave to the Elders. The word used here for "faithful" is commentary that I agree with. Paul literally writes "mias gunaikos" which means "of one wife." Many translate this to mean that a deacon can not be divorced, but I kindly disagree. Paul is saying, "a deacon must be faithful to his wife." He is not running around on his wife. And, by the way, the best thing a man can do for his children is to love their mother unconditionally.
This leads to the next instruction the Apostle gives to the deacon. He writes in v.12, "A deacon must manage his children and his household well." The word "manage" is the same word used of Elders in 1 Timothy 3:4 which means "to stand before." The focus in this word is care for his family. He knows the Lord for himself as his savior, friend and companion and this enables him to be authentic before his family. To manage is to have earned the trust of one's family. This type of leadership in the home comes from the authenticity that grows out of the deacon's selfless love and concern for his family.
In v.13 we read, "Those who have served well gain an excellent standing and great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus."
Those who have served well are given two promises here. The first promise is an excellent standing. This literally means “stepping up above everyone else.” This word bathmos could be translated “pedestal,” or “an elevated platform.” Literally, the Apostle writes, "When a deacon serves well, he is put on a pedestal."
If a deacon serves in humility, with a sincere desire to serve, he will be lifted up. It is not that the deacon seeks to be lifted up, but when he humbles himself before the Lord to fulfill the Lord's call on his life, the Lord will lift him up.
In addition, those around him will respect him. The honor will be natural because the deacon is motivated by love for the Lord and His call. The deacon will gain respect as a result of the selfless living exhibited. We pattern our lives after those we respect.
The second promise in v.13 is great assurance in their faith in Christ Jesus. In other words, because the deacon is faithfully walking with the Lord, serving Him well and He is blessing the service rendered, the deacon sees God's power, grace, and presence in his life. This garners great confidence and faith into the life of the deacon.
For the word assurance the Apostle used the Greek word parresia which means a confidence that produces a snowballing effect that heightens his awareness of God's blessing. This will result in the deacon's heightened usefulness and effectiveness. We naturally gain a greater sense of confidence, and boldness when we look back on our past to see what God has done in and through us. And, on the basis of knowing His hand is on our lives, we can take on anything, even though we feel inadequate. This is the kind of confidence we get from faithful service to the Lord.
