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15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” “Yes, Lord,” he said, “you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my lambs.” 16 Again Jesus said, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He answered, “Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Take care of my sheep.” 17 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Feed my sheep. ~ John 21:15-17
Today's text parallels the scene of Peter's three-time denial of the Lord Jesus. There are several details that are involved in today's story that are common to both accounts: both took place beside a charcoal fire. Both refer to Peter as "Simon Peter." Both involve a three-fold statement: three times Peter denied his Lord, and three times he is asked to affirm his love.
In this exchange between the Lord Jesus and Peter about love, there are two words used for love: "agape," or unconditional love, and "phileo," which is brotherly love. Phileo is the word Peter uses on all three occasions, whereas agape is used of the Lord Jesus the first two times, then phileó the third.
In the middle of v.15, the Lord Jesus asks, "Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?" Before, Peter had denied knowing the Lord Jesus. Now, in answer to this question, Simon Peter says he loved Jesus more than the other disciples. At the end of v.15, Peter responds. "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." I find it very instructive that Peter makes no mention of the other disciples this time. After his failure, Peter is now not involved in the comparison game which is the robber of joy.
In addition, Peter has learned to read the Lord's mind better. In the Garden of Gethsemane he felt that his love for Jesus required that he attack the enemies of the Lord Jesus, but here he learns that he is responsible to feed the sheep of the Lord Jesus.
This is the primary work of a shepherd. The Lord Jesus says to Peter, "Feed my lambs;" "Take care of my sheep"; "Feed my sheep," meaning, "Do not wait for them to grow up. Teach them from the Word what life is all about. Watch over them. Anticipate the coming dangers, warn and guard them."
The primary way this is done is by opening the sheets minds to the thoughts of God. Mankind does not naturally think the thoughts of God. We do not look at life the way God sees it, but we blindly follow after the illusions of our natural inclination (the flesh).
We all love Peter because he is just like us. He has all the failures that we are so familiar within our own lives. He overestimates himself and underestimates temptation. He thinks he’s more than he is, he thinks he loves the Lord more than he does. He thinks he can face any trial triumphantly. By the time he gets to this point, even though he has seen the risen Lord Jesus, he is really a broken man.
This is how the Lord Jesus forges His love into the life of the believer. His love is powerful. It is so powerful it draws out the best in us. It is what makes us sacrifice everything for the benefit of others.
In John 15:13, the Lord Jesus said, “Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.” When we move love into the spiritual dimension, it causes us to serve the Lord in extreme ways. But His life changing love must first be forged deeply into our souls for this to happen. We must, like Peter, be the ones who go out and weep deeply.
In our text, the Lord Jesus asks Peter one question, “Do you love Me?," three times. The first time the Lord Jesus actually asked, "Peter, do you agape me, do you love me unconditionally?" To this question, Peter responds honestly, "Lord, you know I phileó you, you know I love you like a brother." Peter does not say, Lord I agape you for he knows that he has failed miserably in that arena. The second time the Lord Jesus asks Peter this question, it is asked and answered in the same way as the first.
But, the third time the Lord Jesus asks Peter this question, He asked, "Peter, do you phileó me, do you love me like a brother?" This hurt Peter deeply because the Lord Jesus questioned what Peter knew to be true. Peter loved the Lord Jesus like a brother. And, it is one thing for the Lord Jesus to question Peter's agape love but it is another for Him to question Peter's Phileó love.
You've heard the old saying, "sometimes you must be cruel to be kind." I think that saying is appropriate here. Sometimes God has to either hurt us or allow us to be hurt in order for us to get the deeper lessons that we must experience in life in order to be useful at ministering to people. This, I believe, is our highest calling. Loving people.
Often the love we need most is the love we want least. This love feels so harsh, so blunt, so unpleasant in the moment, that we often don’t even recognize it as love. In Hebrews 12:5-6, we read, “5 And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, 6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”
The word "discipline" can also be translated "trained." When God is disciplining or training us in His ways, we think that we have done something wrong, and although that may be the case, God disciplines us or trains us in His ways because we do not naturally walk in His ways. Sometimes the Lord’s love for us feels like the opposite of love, but that’s only because we can’t see everything He sees. Behind the real pain He allows, is an even more real love. A love that He gives us for Him and for those whom we influence for Him.
Finally, history teaches us that the Apostle Peter died upside down on a Roman cross. This is evidence that we can get to the place where we can be the forwarders of agape.
