In Ephesians 4:29, Paul literally writes, "let no decomposed words come out of your mouths." Decomposed words are decayed and smell really bad. These words came along with our flesh. Those who are characterized by these words are being defined, ultimately, by Satan himself. The Evil One has so twisted God's definition of things to the point that his definition renders corruption and foulness.
In addition, using such words cheapen us in the eyes of others. It only hurts us to use such speech. This is the goal of the Evil One, he wants to corrupt and destroy our lives, especially in the eyes of others. He knows this cheapens our influence upon others.
The words that we should use, according to v.29, are those which build up others. Our goal should be the health of others. Of course, if we lack this health for ourselves and we are using words that are cheapening life, then we will live unwholesome lives. Our lives will be full of holes and we will be in no position to build others up. No wonder we tear down others from this posture, because when we are living out of a torn down posture, we can't build up.
The key to all our behavior lies in our relationship with God, not with our relationship with others. The latter is an effect which comes after the cause. The key is in our relationship with God, that He is defining us.
The word "grieve" is related to love. It is impossible for you to grieve someone who does not love you, nor can you be grieved except by those whom you love. This word, grieve, reveals that God loves us, and that the Holy Spirit lives in us.
We should not grieve the Holy Spirit because we have been sealed by Him until our redemption day, that is the day Jesus returns to take us home. A seal is a protective device. It is designed to prevent loss or invasion. The Holy Spirit has been given to us to seal us, to guarantee that we will arrive at our home, heaven.
The Holy Spirit will never stop his work in and through us. He is in us to stay. Therefore, if we grieve Him, we will be miserable due to the grieved Spirit of God living in us. Who accomplishes their calling with a grieved Holy Spirit living in them, anyway?
Note the wrong attitudes mentioned in v.31. Bitterness is a cynical hateful outlook toward someone else. The word "rage" describes someone who is hotheaded, and losing their temper. Anger means an inward boiling resulting in a desire to punish somebody, to seek revenge.
The word for "brawling" means "to shout, to rail on someone." "Slander is speech that is injurious to someone else -- gossip, rumor spreading. Malice is the desire to injure someone else. When we feed the flesh, we can expect a list like this to describe us. Paul tells us to put away these things, and feed the Spirit who lives in you.
The Apostle ends our text with forgiveness which is shown by being kind and compassionate. In the same way we have been forgiven, we should forgive one another. Our problem is we do not know the depth of God’s forgiveness of us. If we did, we would not withhold our forgiveness from others.
In Israel there are two bodies of water: the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea. The Sea of Galilee is alive, filled with fish and surrounded by lush foliage. The Dead Sea lacks life. No seaweed or plants of any kind live in or around the water. There are no fish or any kind of swimming, squirming creatures living in or near the water. Both the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea are fed by the Jordan River.
There is really only one difference between these two bodies of water. The difference is that the Sea of Galilee takes water from the Jordan River, and then it gives water. The water simply passes through. As a result, the Sea of Galilee is full of life and beauty. The Dead Sea, on the other hand, only takes water, but it gives nothing back, and as a result it sustains no life.
Those two bodies of water bear witness to a truth of human life. It is in receiving and then giving back that life and hope are sustained. In other words, The Sea of Galilee is a conduit, The Dead Sea is a container. The first is full of life, the second is full of death! Which are you?
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