Wednesday, May 31, 2023

1 Peter 3:7


In the same way, you husbands should live with your wives in an understanding way, since they are weaker than you. But show them respect, because God gives them the same blessing he gives you—the grace that gives true life. Do this so that nothing will stop your prayers. ~ 1 Peter 3:7

Today, we return to our study of 1 Peter 3 where the Apostle is giving us teaching on how to benefit from the persecution that we sometimes encounter in this world. Today's verse is addressed to husbands and how we should relate to our wives. All the teaching given in this one verse is predicated upon the husband submitting to the Lord. When God's grace changes our heart, we no longer submit to Him out of fear, we submit to Him due to the impact His grace has had upon us. We go from submission out of fear to submission out of love.

Today's verse begins with: "In the same way." Peter is saying that in the same way as the wives are to embrace the culture of God by submitting to her husband, husbands should submit to God and the role that He has given him. The husband, in part, embraces God's culture by: 1) living with our wives in an understanding way, and by 2) showing our wives respect.

To "live with our wives in an understanding way" means to seek to know our wives in a godly way. God created both man and woman so that we would have a balanced view of who He is. God demonstrates His maleness through man as man yields his will to the commands of God. God also demonstrates His femaleness through the wife as she submits to God by submitting to her husband. 

Since all humans are incompatible due to the Fall, as husbands we are to work hard at understanding the physical, emotional and spiritual nature of their wives. When I counsel a couple who are about to wed, I always begin with a study of the four love languages. Everyone has a different way that they give and receive love. Most often, we try to love others according to our love languages but this is quite shortsighted because they will only feel loved on the basis of us loving them according to their love languages. 

The next phrase in today's verse has been quite abused and misunderstood. The words "since they are weaker than you" 
must be understood in the broader context of this passage. Men and women are different because our brains are different from the other. It is not that men are better than women; it is due to the fact that we are biologically different and as a result God has called us to different roles and responsibilities within the family. A strong society is built upon a strong family. As the families go in a society, so goes the society.

It is commonly known that man has a certain hormone, testosterone, which makes his bone structure grow larger than a woman's so that more fiber and muscle grow around his bones than a woman's. In fact, up to 40% of the man's body, is muscle. A woman's body, in contrast, has 23% muscle. The man's larger bone structure results in him being, on the average, about 10% bigger than a woman. Therefore, the husband is not to take physical advantage of that weakness. Rather, man's function is to protect woman, as the more needy vessel. 

In addition, the husband is expected to listen to his wife, love her, encourage her and support her. The husband is to treat his wife as fine china, not like paper plates. As it has been said, "The wife was not taken from man's head to be above him, she was not taken from his feet to be walked upon by him, but she was taken from his side to be close to him, from under his arm to be protected by him, from near to his heart to be loved by him." 

The fact is our wives do not want more things, they want more of us; they want more of our hearts. And when we are giving our hearts to the Lord and He gives us more of His heart, we will be amazingly equipped to love our wives. As a result, they will have no problem with the idea of submitting to us. The husband is to do all of this so that nothing will stop his prayer life. The key to loving our wives is that we are regularly communicating with God. As the husband gives his heart to God, he will be equipped with the heart of God to love his wife as he ought. When we are arguing with our wives, we will be hindered in our desire to pray or to talk with God. In fact, I always find that if I can get a struggling couple to pray together, their problems will eventually go away. So, as we submit to God and are enabled to love our wives, we will fulfill our God called duty as husbands to fulfill the role and responsibilities that He has called us to.